About the Book
Love Factually had been on my list for sooooo long.
One of those you know’s going to be good but keeps getting pushed back.
Those Netflix shows aren’t going to watch themselves, after all!
Well, I’m so glad I finally checked it out.
It doesn’t disappoint!
Every chapter is full of poignent stories and moments which make you go ‘what???’
I’ll say no more.
Take it away, Laura!
- “These findings suggest that fear can make someone seem more attractive than they actually are, perhaps because we attribute increased heart rate to meeting them rather than the fight or flight response caused by a wobbly bridge.” Chapter 1: Don’t Give Me Drugs
- “‘I think lust is like a firework and love is more like a slow burn, it’s a campfire burn, you just had to add tinder to it, you have to take care of and look after it otherwise it goes out.'” Chapter 2: A Promiscuous Word
- “Compassionate love (which is similar to friendship or sibling love) is the tenderness we feel for someone whose life is entwined with ours. It’s calmer and less dominating and can come with a much deeper attraction than with romantic love.” Chapter 2: A Promiscuous Word
- “Our attachment system establishes its target, then drives us to do whatever’s necessary to get close to that person, while looking out for any changes in their behaviour that might mean we have to adjust what we’re doing and how we go about trying to get close.” Chapter 3: Heat-Seeking Missiles
- “Other subconscious avoidant strategies can include: thinking they’re not ready to commit (but staying with their partner for years); flirting with others (which brings insecurity into the relationship or keeps other options open); forming relationships that are unlikely to last… keeping secrets; avoiding physical closeness; checking out mentally when their partner is speaking to them; and not saying ‘I love you’ (despite having or implying that they have feelings for their partner).” Chapter 3: Heat-Seeking Missiles
- “In other words, men’s idea of what is attractive doesn’t age with them – at 50, they fancy who they did when they were 20.” Chapter 4: What I Want More than Anything
- “… and what women look for in a partner, as well as how they think and behave, is hugely influenced by where they are in their menstrual cycle.” Chapter 4: What I Want More than Anything
- “Satre argued that you’re not just choosing your life when you make decisions, you’re choosing who you become.” Chapter 4: What I Want More than Anything
- “The maths can get quite intense so I’m not going to go into it, but for all the variations, the message remains the same: if you can face rejecion, you will get much better results if you are brave and proactive instead of sitting back and waiting for others to come to you.” Chapter 5: Looking for Love
- “I tend to schedule first dates on a non-core evening. Non-core evenings and Tuesday and Wednesday.” Chapter 5: Looking for Love
- “I usually go for the cocktail lunge at the end of a date. You need to be shameless on first dates and just literally lunge, otherwise the moment is there, but no one wants to induce it.” Chapter 5: Looking for Love
- “If, on the other hand, you believe that disagreements, and even arguments, are inevitable, conflicts are unlikely to feel like such a threat. Instead, you might start to see them as a chance to get to know each other, to deepen your understanding of each other and solidify your relationship.” Chapter 11: The Good Fight
- “A couple of these people, when pushed, mentioned honesty, vulnerability, caring, understanding, commitment, support, self-respect, self-reflection and an interest in self-development [as being important to relationships, alongside kindess]. When I reflected on these, they struck me as what you might hope for in a best friend – which isn’t that surprising given that most psychologists think it’s compassionate love that makes relationships last.” Chapter 13: When Things End
- “He told me that he no longer saw his grief, or its enduring nature, as negative – instead, he saw it as a confirmation that he had loved, and may never stop loving, his wife very deeply.” Chapter 14: Borrowed People
For those of you who’ve been with this blog for a while, you’ll know that me picking out lots of quotes is a good thing!