About the Book
Why wasn’t I given this book 10 years ago?!
From the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Manson delivers an absolute knockout with Models, released back in 2011.
In it, he details his decade worth of experience in helping men with relationships, and talks about the importance of psychological aspects, such as vulnerability and being ‘non-needy’.
He also offers practical advice and tips, such as how to wear things to be more attractive and what sort of lifestyle you should look to carve yourself.
I could go on.
This book has revealed sooooo many painful truths for me. It’s opened my eyes to where I’ve gone wrong in previous relationships and what I need to work on in order to develop more meaningful connections.
(Namely, being more vulnerable in all senses of the word.)
Manson’s exploration of vulnerability is particularly eye-opening. To him, it’s not just about revealing insecurities and sob stories but the actions you take. Perhaps more importantly, it’s the intentions behind the actions.
Asking a girl out with the knowledge that you could be rejected? That’s being vulnerable.
Going in for a kiss in an unusual location? That’s being vulnerable.
Asserting an opinion that may upset others?
Well, you get the picture.
If you feel like you need some help in the relationship arena, look no further. Although it’s definitely more applicable for male audiences, I dare so both sexes could get something from this brilliant read.
Here are some of its highlights for me…
- “A non-needy man’s actions and words will therefore be primarily motivated by embodying his own values and desires.” Chapter 1: Non-Neediness
- “… instead of worrying whether or not she will like you, you could wonder if you will like her… That instead of feeling the need to impress her, you could wonder if she impresses you.” Chapter 1: Non-Neediness
- “The only real dating advice is self-improvement. Work on yourself. Conquer your anxieties. Resolve your shame. Take care of yourself and those who are important to you.” Chapter 1: Non-Neediness
- “… making yourself vulnerable doesn’t just mean being willing to share your fears or insecurities. It can mean putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, saying a joke that may not be funny, asserting an opinion that may offend others, introducing yourself to a group of people you don’t know… In this way, vulnerability represents a form of power, a deep and subtle form of power. It’s courageous even.” Chapter 2: Power in Vulnerability
- “… when a man comes right out and says he’s interested in a woman, the sub-communication is actually, ‘I’m totally OK with the idea of you rejecting me, otherwise I would not be approaching you in this manner. Therefore, I’m comfortable with myself and my prospects.” Chapter 3: The Gift of Truth
- “If a woman insults a non-needy man’s friends, he will not hesitate to tell her to stop and stand up for those he cares about. If a woman says she needs to leave a date after 30 minutes… he will smile and say, ‘Nice meeting you,’, and let it go.” Chapter 3: The Gift of Truth
- “Not acting on our desires and asserting ourselves where appropriate is showing more investment in others than ourselves. It is therefore unattractive.” Chapter 5: Rejection and Success
- “… if you’re ever going to do something that is unusual – approach a woman in a strange location, try to kiss her in a strange location etc – it’s important that you communicate that you realise what you’re doing is abnormal… ‘Excuse me, this is kind of random, but I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you.”… The bolder your action, the greater attraction you’re going to create. The bolder the action, the more vulnerability you show, and the more you polarize responses.” Chapter 10: How to Overcome Anxiety
- “‘Where are you from?’ translates to: ‘You look like a California girl.’ … ‘What do you do for work?’ translates to: ‘You seem to be a creative person. I bet your job is interesting.'” Chapter 12: How to Improve Your Flirting
- “Years ago, I was out with a girl at a bar. We had been flirting all night and she had a very sarcastic sense of humour. At one point she looked at my drink and said, ‘You drink slow, I’ve already finished my drink!’… I replied with a totally straight face, ‘Not all of us hate ourselves as much as you do.'” Chapter 12: How to Improve Your Flirting
- “For instance, when I first meet a girl, let’s say within 30 seconds she says something I don’t like. I’ll say, ‘That’s it, we’re getting divorced.’… you can actually milk a lot of fun out of something like this – for example, ‘You keep the kids, I’m moving to Europe.” By the way, your music sucks, and I never liked your casseroles either.'” Chapter 12: How to Improve Your Flirting
- “Remove, ‘What do you want to do now?’ from your dating vocabulary.” Chapter 13: The Dating Process
- “I’m going to say this point-blank: getting physical with women, and getting physical quickly and comfortably, is ultimately the difference between having a lot of female friends, and having a lot of girlfriends and dates.” Chapter 14: Physicality and Sex
- “… when in doubt, go for it (a kiss).” Chapter 14: Physicality and Sex
- “‘They make it look so easy in the movies.'” Chapter 14: Physicality and Sex
What Others Are Saying
This is without doubt the best relationship-advice book I’ve ever read!
Go out and read it.
You won’t be disappointed.